Does your heart need a hug?

As adults we are champions at putting our best foot forward.

Yesterday was one of those days for me. It was a travel day, getting up in the wee hours of the morning to navigate airports and shuttles to visit my son in the high mountains of Colorado. Every thing went smoothly without a hitch.  

That said, I'm not a fan of flying so yesterday required a fair amount of suppressing images of plane doors blowing out and wrestling with my conscience about all that oil being used. I'm not quite a white knuckle flyer, yet it does require pushing through a fair amount of unpleasantness.

This morning I woke up early and meditated. In the silence and stillness my inner child's heart was present. As I stayed listening and feeling, I realized just how much I have been holding. And how much my soft gentle nature was overwhelmed and needed me. My heart needed a hug. 

Life can be very overwhelming. All of us are holding so much each day. We want to do our best. So we worry and care about our families and friends. We care about the earth, our brother's and sisters who are hurting from war and famine. We care about the future.

What is your heart holding today? 

This morning reminded me of the importance of holding space for myself and others. By the end of my meditation and journaling about my experiences, I was soothed. The knot in my stomach was gone. I was able to meet the day once again to do my best.

The transformative medicine of Mindfulness kind of shows up like the movie, 50 First Dates! We forget. We remember. We forget. We remember.

We're human. We run on auto pilot much of the day. We forget the wonders of pausing to be present, to BE with, and reconnect to integrate.

I found that most of us need community to learn and practice daily mindfulness. I know I did, and still do.

If you do, too, consider joining our transformative 8 week Mindfulness class Mindful Living: Foundations in Mindfulness . This time around I am teaching locally at Day Kimball Hospital. Reach out if you're interested in other resources.

With a deep sense of care and compassion.

Here's a hug,

Robin

Is my mind poised for growth?

We had several tree casualties this winter. A couple uprooted and fell. And last week a perfectly healthy tree broke and fell on our shed.

It got me thinking about what fosters growth and what causes a breakdown or a fall.

Is my mind poised for growth?

Our stress response is hardwired inside our reptilian survival brain to react quickly, with a fixed and narrowed focus.

When life gets accentuated with unpredictable events, we can weather it for a while, but like trees, there is a tipping point when we become 'too saturated' and fall.

We all have our limits. And when we reach our window of tolerance, we find ourselves feeling more anxious, stressed, and overwhelmed. Then one more problem or issue feels like the last straw and we start doing or saying things that are not in our best interest, as we look for the quick fix to alleviate our discomfort

Growth-oriented people see themselves as a continual work in progress. They are more interested in learning than protecting. More interested in saying, "I made a mistake. What can I learn from this?" than denying their mistakes. They want to understand where, how and why they are falling short instead of justifying, ignoring, and denying actions that are not aligned with well-being.

A growth mindset is not an innate characteristic, but a perspective that can be nurtured over time.

10 perspectives to nurture a growth mindset journey

1. Recognize Fixed Mindset Traps

Nurturing a growth mindset begins by becoming aware of its opposite--a “fixed mindset” and seeing how it shows up in the form of self-limiting beliefs, fear of failure, avoidance of challenges, or a negative reaction to feedback. Once you’re able to recognize these moments, you can start to intentionally shift your perspective.

2. Embrace Challenges

A person with a growth mindset views and responds to challenges by recognizing that they are not roadblocks on the path, they’re opportunities to learn and grow. Growth comes from stretching your abilities, stepping out of your comfort zone, and daring to do what you once thought impossible.

3. Don’t Fear Failure

Redefine failure. Don’t see failure as a dead end. Instead, view it as a learning experience — a stepping stone on your path to success. Failure isn’t proof of incapacity; it’s a testament to bravery for daring to try. So, the next time you fail, be kind and look at what went wrong, learn from it, and use that knowledge to do better next time.

4. Value Effort

Recognize that effort is the engine that drives growth. Even when progress seems slow, your effort isn’t wasted; it’s building the resilience and strength you need to achieve your goals. See the value of hard work and perseverance, and celebrating these efforts, to reinforce the belief that abilities can be honed and expanded with time and dedication.

5. Continue To Learn

The desire to learn is a fundamental pillar of a growth. It’s about being endlessly curious and seeking out new knowledge. Try to view each day as an opportunity to learn something new. Whether it’s mastering a new skill, delving into a subject you’ve always been interested in, or even learning a fun new recipe, embrace the joy of learning.

6. Cultivate Persistence

Persistence is the lifeblood of a growth. It’s the willingness to keep going even when things get tough. When met with challenges, instead of retreating into the comfort of the known, try to lean into the discomfort. Persistence as a growth mindset is about appreciating the journey as much as the destination, valuing the process and not just the outcome.

7. Seek Out Constructive Feedback

The ability to accept and act upon constructive feedback is crucial for adopting a growth mindset. It provides an outside perspective that can highlight blind spots and opportunities for growth. Feedback is your friend — it’s a tool for growth, not a personal attack.

8. Surround Yourself With Growth-Minded People

Surrounding yourself with people who also have a growth mindset can greatly impact your journey. Their positive attitudes, resilience in the face of challenges, and constant pursuit of growth can inspire and motivate you. Plus, they can provide invaluable support, advice, and encouragement as you navigate your own path to growth.

9. Celebrate Your Small Wins And The Success Of Others

Embracing a growth mindset involves taking inspiration from the success of others, rather than viewing it as a threat. Celebrate the achievements of your peers and consider what you can learn from their journey.

Most importantly, celebrate each small win and success of your own! Don’t sell yourself short. Pausing to feel gratitude for your steady growth is how you will build the strength to keep growing.

10.Develop a Growth Mindset through Mindfulness

Mindfulness cultivates self awareness to interrupt fast brain energy and automatic habits. Mindfulness helps you to access the slow brain response needed to make wiser decisions. It boosts the growth process because it allows you see what’s really going on. It also develops your inner strength to feel and embrace uncomfortable feelings instead of resisting and numbing out.

Our minds can be our undoing and our greatest asset. Mindfulness has nurtured my ability to live life with more joy, well-being and resiliency

Spring Equinox Blessings,

Robin

Compassionate Listening

My life. My busy Life. My exciting, busy life.

I have two distinct ‘skill’ sets. The first and primary skill resides largely as a visionary. A creative intuitive visionary. I am not short of fun, out of the ordinary, amusing, insightful, dare I say, brilliant ideas. The execution of these ideas falls into the second domain…and there lies my quirkiness.

My second skill, is less clearly defined, let’s just call it a plodding-whimsical-planner. I like things to be well mapped out, with tangible markers. Yet my productivity can be characterized as being slow and steady, sprinkled with amusing deep dives, getting lost in a thread, emerging with bits and pieces that may or may not make it onto my most desired map of tangible specifics.

I’ve learned to live with these anomalies. But they can and DO create quite a racket inside of me from time to time.

For the past few months, my meditations have sourced this feeling of wind energy, skimming over the ocean creating turbulence on its surface. Frisky energy that isn’t all that pleasant or satisfying. When I stay with this feeling, welcoming and allowing its presence, I find an uncomfortable separation, inviting me to slowly drop down, down into the dark unknown water of a distant past.

As I settle into this depth, images of my beloved newborn self emerge, fearful, alone, abandoned. Gently with a mothers heart, ever ready and willing, I pick up this beloved swaddled self and draw her close to my heart. Tears fall. Feeling the instinctive movement of my hands over heart, the sensations of this touch, swaying and rocking, are like lullabies welcoming and soothing these buried feelings.

My newborn and I have come very far during this amazing life. She had been a guide into deep waters before. Whenever we meet, I feel more whole. This, I believe is my souls journey to integration and wholeness.

I am not sure where this current journey as an entrepreneur will take me—how I will integrate the visionary and the whimsical plodding planner. But I do know I have entered something vital and important. I have so many notations on my old and wrinkled map— all those collected bits and pieces, tools and resources I have gathered all these years. Amazing teachers, mentors, companions, family and friends, and a community of deep divers all by my side.

And I am devoted. Ever ready to offer what I can to support others on their own journey towards wholeness and integration.

Like a life ring thrown out to bring me ashore, this poem by Danna Faulds arrived at the end of my morning meditation today.

May the light of the summer illuminate everything good and beautiful about you,

Robin

“The moment your eyes are open, seize the day.Would you hold back when the Beloved beckons?Would you deliver your litany of sins like a child’s collection of sea shells, prized and labeled?“No, I can’t step across the threshold,” you say, eyes downcast.“I’m not worthy, I’m afraid, and my motives aren’t pure.I’m not perfect, and surely I haven’t practised nearly enough.My meditation isn’t deep, and my prayers are sometimes insincere.I still chew my fingernails, and the refrigerator isn’t clean.”Do you value your reasons for staying small more than the light shining through the open door?Forgive yourself.Now is the only time you have to be whole.Now is the sole moment that exists to live in the light of your true Self.Perfection is not a prerequisite for anything but pain.Please, oh please, don’t continue to believe in your disbelief.This is the day of your awakening.
”

— Danna Faulds

Summer Solstice

Im so excited!

Plant Medicine class begins.

The whisper came during winter dreaming, it showed up loud and clear during a meditation this spring.

Now, one the eve of summer solstice, i begin this journey into a fellowship with plant allies.

After a contemplative walk gathering what leaves and flowers, herbs and trees I planted over the years, as well as invasive plants im arguing with, I created this mandala intention altar next to my bed. The journey has been set in motion.

May this journey be in service to the greatest good.

May this teaching from Asia Suler, One Williow Apothecary, help me walk more attune to the woodlands and land I am caring for on Windy Hill.

May all beings be at home here.

May wellbeing and prosperity flourish

Solstice Blessings,

Robin

Imbolc-The Promise of Renewal

May the growing light awaken and ignite

your one of a kind beauty!

I recently watched a video from Asia Suler, One Willow Apothecaries about how awakenings show up. She has an unique and beautiful way of making the connections between humans and nature. In this video she speaks directly to the transition of winter into spring.

"You don't need to rush your own flowering, you just need to show up for the whims of your inner feelings, tiny insights and flashes that give you a glimpse of what is moving within."

It got me thinking how easy it is for turbulent thoughts, reactivity or being so busy and exhausted we end up falling into patterns of coping that may interfere with noticing the beauty of our world around and inside us.

As Asia so beautiful points out, the process of awakening isn't a straight forward, feel good unfolding. Just like the fits and starts of new life stirring right now~ there are blue skies, gray skies, warmer days, then snow storms, and wet, damp cold days. So too, goes our own awakening.

When we attune and respect the rhythmic nature of life, we begin to trust and even appreciate this uneven process. We can even begin to notice how reactivity and agitation can actually be a gate way to greater intimacy and blossoming of our unique, one of a kind beauty.

This may seem contradictory, and counter intuitive. How can reactivity and agitation be a gate way?

Well, they are uncomfortable. And that discomfort can tell us we need to pause, turn inward to listen.

Agitation and reactivity are built in survival responses to mobilize immediate action to protect us. Unfortunately this stress response also takes us offline to allow the primitive part of our brain to take over. We say something, do something, eat or drink something that ultimately is a quick and often ineffective response that doesn’t lead us to resolution or well-being.

With practice though, we can catch ourselves, allow the rush of the stress chemicals to be a cue to pause rather than continue to launch into a full blown fight-flight-freeze stress reaction. We can only do this effectively if we befriend the emotional and sensory discomfort.

Huh?

We need to come back to our bodies, feel the raw uncomfortable body sensations of anger, jealously, impatience, or whatever is triggering us. This is the doorway we need to go through to come back on line to regain a calmer, wiser response.

Once we cross this threshold, with practice we can steady ourselves enough to listen and investigate what is going on. We can learn how to turn towards ourselves with tenderness and care, connect to our needs, and access our creative minds to choose the best path forward.

Each time we take this path, we learn more about ourselves, our unique responses to life, what matters most to us. And ultimately, we can, with time begin to source our unique one of a kind beauty.

This isn’t a one and done kind of thing. It takes time, forgiveness, compassion and patience.

For many, mindfulness has been a reliable practice to source this kind of life nourishment. No matter what trouble arises, pausing to be present and allowing what is alive inside and out, can be a reliable companion to guide us back to see the goodness that is always here.

What are your trustworthy practices and GO TO's to calm and steady yourself when life gets turbulent?

How you are experiencing this transition from winter to spring?

Take heart if you are feeling this transition in challenging ways.

In Chinese medicine, Spring is associated with the liver and with the emotion of anger. It takes energy for seeds to burst open and evolve into their full expression.

The bright colors and warm exuberance of spring is coming. For now, take a moment to BE WITH and feel the pure bodily sensations of whatever is happening with as much acceptance and kindness you can muster.

May this listening and allowing serve you well.

May the light of kind attention awaken the seeds of wellbeing that lie waiting.

If you would like to deepen you ability to be more attentive and supportive to what lies within; learn how to calm turbulent thought patterns to find a path to heal and grow; to find a reliable steadiness to nourish your true potential for wellbeing consider joining our 8 week Mindful Living class for a special dose of self care and kind listening.

Mindful Living: Foundations in Mindfulness is offered in the Spring and the Fall

May you always find something to enhance your well being at East and West of the River.

With full moon light and blessings,

Robin

What Lies Unseen

February Blessings

I invite you to take a moment to consider your deepest and most trustworthy beliefs. What can you put your faith in when life gets dark?

I ask this because, life can be hard, things happen. And at one time or another, we may find ourselves living inside a situation where we don't have any answers. 

We are lost in the mystery of how things will or will not turn out. 

A difficult situation, a health challenge, or a mood grabs hold of us and won't let go, lasting much longer than we feel equipped to cope with, or those moments when we feel we have exhausted all reserves for hope and positivity. 

What do you turn to? 

Recently in our mindfulness practice group, An Awaken Heart, we have been exploring one of the core understanding in mindfulness - within each human being there is a fundamental goodness.

For some, this may feel like a stretch. With the division and often hatefulness going on in our world, perhaps this idea feels nice, but.....

However, if we dig into the word goodness it begins to point us to a valuable perspective, and that is, it points to a deep sense of belonging to something much greater than the ego's perspective of I, me and mine.

It offers the possibility and courage to open to the darkness and unknown to retrieve a sense of belonging to something much broader, kinder, and more trustworthy. 

For many of us, mindfulness is a reliable, trustworthy resource to access this greater sense of belonging. Here's why-

When I am suffering, triggered by this or that, and I feel myself contracted and constricted by the fear of what may be, AND I REMEMBER...

I REMEMBER to turn towards rather than push away by PAUSING, BEING STILL AND BEFRIENDING the discord/discomfort swirling around inside me, awareness widens. 

Otherwise, difficult feelings or situations I push away as unwanted or unwelcome tend to get buried OR lead to unhelpful, defensive strategies that tend to create more suffering.They fuel my mind with repetitive circular, often fear based thoughts and conversations. 

When I can remember to turn towards not away from this discomfort, reliably I find more space to just BE WITH what is true in the moment. This hurts. This upsets me. I am scared...sad...angry...leaning into whatever is right there.

With this pausing, slowly but surely, I find mindful awareness allows me to be able to acknowledge and appreciate the discomfort as a guide to what needs to be soothed, what needs TLC. A calming presence slowly builds from which I am then able to reconnect to a broader more integrated perspective to move forward, and more often than not, I am restored with a sense of peace, and new resources and next steps are there for me to see.

Whispering THIS BELONGS has been a useful mantra to help me lay out this kind of mindful welcome mat.

Mother Theresa speaks to this idea this way--

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten 

that we belong to each other

Carl Jung speaks to it this way 

(this tendency we all have of pushing away and burying what feels uncomfortable and unwanted)

Suffering arises from the unseen, unfelt parts of ourselves

And then, there is this from Tara Brach

There is a sacred loving awareness that shines though all of life 

Each of us has the potential 

to perceive this loving awareness

to discover it from our own beingness 

and live by that awareness 

I have found mindfulness practice to be a reliable North Star to help me reconnect with a greater good inside and outside of me.

May you always find something valuable to enhance your wellbeing at East and West of the River Wellness. 

With grace and gratitude, 

Robin

Art image: Judith Bird